Internal Family Systems (IFS)

IFS was developed by Dick Schwartz in the 80's. He was trained in family counseling & as he continued to see family members individually, he started noticing that people naturally talked in "parts" language..."Well, a part of me wants to go out tonight, & a part of me just wants to snuggle up on the couch with a good movie." Both the client and Dick also noticed that as they dialogued with these "parts" there was a different quality that would emerge, that he called capital "S" Self. He, & others in the field (Janina Fisher, Jan Winhall, Pete Walker) postulated that these parts fragment off from Self as a result of trauma. So the whole goal of IFS is to reunite these parts with the whole. However, it is not as easy as it sounds. These parts are often "burdened" with extreme beliefs & jobs that are exhausting. There are also polarized parts that keep the internal system in a state of inner conflict as these parts try to vie for dominance. Some parts don't even get a seat at the table, and yet, because of their wounding (the held burdens), the whole system organizes behavior around keeping these parts from surfacing. This internal family is just like a regular, external family in that there is triangulating, colluding, conditional love, enmeshed boundaries, or a lack of boundaries. Just as in external families, the internal family members take on roles like the golden child, the hero, the scapegoat, the mascot, the caretaker, etc. Below I have outlined the 3 main parts that IFS recognizes. It is important to note that IFS also maintains that there are NO bad parts ('No Bad Parts' is the name of one of Schwartz's books). All parts have positive intentions...to keep the system safe. Unfortunately, as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, these parts are causing the symptoms that people come to counseling for. The good news is that the presenting problem is just because that part is blended with Self. These parts are usually not aware of Self & are stuck in the past (when they formed) as a result of trauma. I will guide you through mindfulness to identify that part & get unblended, bringing Self energy & updating that part, as we identify & unburden these parts.

Managers

Managers are proactive protectors. These are the parts that our society values the most because they are productive, rational, and are usually too busy to emote. They do whatever they can to PREVENT an old wound from getting triggered. An activity that may cause feelings of rejection, a manager will make it so you get a migraine that day and can't go. These parts are usually working so hard and are exhausted from the burden of keeping you from getting triggered.

Firefighters

OK, so these parts are not literally fighting fires, but emotional ones, absolutely. These are REACTIVE parts that soothe after the wound has been touched. Society is not as keen about their role as the other protectors, the managers, because these parts are addicted to substances or behaviors that are maladaptive. Remember, there are no bad parts, and it doesn't always seem like it when these parts take over. It is hard to see how they have good intentions & are helpful. Once triggered, these parts do everything they can to mitigate the pain. They generally don't have many healthy coping habits & resources (both inner & outer). These parts also work very hard & are usually also exhausted. Just like the above picture, it takes a lot of energy to put out a fire.

Exiles

Exiles are the parts that hold all of the deepest wounds. They are usually very young parts that sustained the initial emotional pain. They didn't have choices & resources & think they are still in that place of no agency. These parts are who the managers & firefighters are protecting. Because these parts are young, even preverbal, their memories are stored as bodily sensations. This is where somatic psychotherapy is invaluable in contacting these parts as the felt sense. Sometimes when these exiles are contacted, there can be just a flood of pure emotion...not even any thoughts that go with it...just a visceral sense, unadulterated emoting. When we can let these waves of emotion roll through us, staying mindful & supported in therapy is when these deep pains of the past can start to be healed. Experiencing the pain where there are choices & supportive relationships forms a new neural network. Finally creating a different narrative.

SELF

Self is not a part at all & almost every religion & many philosophical schools have a name for this undying nature...Soul, Spirit, Atman, Spark of Awareness, Witness Consciousness​, etc. Self is an energy that comes through that is compassionate to all of the parts. It wants to be calm & connected with parts. It is courageous, curious, & creative. Self has clarity & confidence in dealing with parts & situations. Self has patience & is persistent, yet is playful with perspective & presence. Self usually left awareness when the abuse/neglect/trauma was happening causing a part(s) to form. Exiles are usually surprised when capital "S" Self shows up to comfort & essential, re-parent. This & these encounters in mindfulness form new neuonal networks. It is the job of Self to identify a part, focus on it, really get all of the details about this part, why it formed & when. Self befriends the part & finds out what the part fears if they stop doing their job (managers & firefighters) & the exiles just want to be loved. Other disciplans refer to the exiles as the inner child, or the archetypal wounded child. It is amazing how thoughts & behaviors naturally start to change once these parts become identified. Just like regular external family members, they want to be seen, heard, valued, witnessed...

All this is done in mindfulness & is a powerful modality for therapeutic change. Even though multiplicity of the mind can be pathologized (Dissociative Identity Disorder) this is such a natural exression of our personality & accurate map for the human psyche. IFS trainings are in demand & IFS is an excellent complement to psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. Are you curious who your internal family is? Let's find out together.

Gillis, K. (2023). 8 Common Dysfunctional Family Roles. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202303/8-common-dysfunctional-family-roles?msockid=10c20461183e6485305d122d197e655c​

Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the internal family systems model. Sounds True.